Barb writes from the US:
I arrived in Las
Vegas on January 2nd to take over the care of my parents from my sister
Mary. My five sisters and I had been taking turns staying with
them since our mother was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer last
September. I expected to be in Las Vegas until February 9th when sister Lori
planned to take over. Chuck spent the time taking care of TT II
and fending for himself in Grenada.
Actually he had a good time taking hikes daily with friends
on Arctic Tern and Receta and doing a lot of socializing as well as eating
many meals with them. It's great to have such good friends.
The first week-end I
was in Las Vegas my brother George was also there. This afforded
me the opportunity to fly up to Bismarck, North Dakota to visit Chuck's
mother Evelyn, sister Zona, and Zona's family. It was -32 degrees
Fahrenheit when I arrived in Bismarck, but the sun was shining and there was no
wind. So even though it was really cold, it was actually pretty pleasant. We
tried throwing up a glass of water outside to see if it would freeze in
the air, but it didn't. My brother George who lived in Alaska for
a number of years says that it needs to be colder than -40 degrees.
I'm glad I didn't experience that.
As you may remember
from our October 2009 log, Chuck and Zona helped their mother Evelyn
move out of her house in Jamestown and into a remodeled wing of Zona's
house in Bismarck. This was the first time I was able to see Evelyn's
finished apartment and is it cozy! I had a nice visit with
them and also came away the proud owner of a new Kindle. Zona
thought it might save us space on the boat and be handy, and she was
right. Thanks again Zona. I've downloaded lots of books, use the dictionary on it
regularly and enjoyed a subscription to the Atlanta newspaper while in
the States. We aren't sure how well the communication end of it
will work while we are down in the islands, but since we have so many
books already downloaded, we aren't sure we will need it before we go
back to the States later this year.
Barb's Trip to Bismarck
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Snow in Bismarck when I arrived
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Cleaning the roads in Bismarck
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Snow at Zona's house
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Zona's grandson Cole is ready for the snow
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Evelyn (Chuck's mother), Zona (Chuck's sister) and Mike (Chuck's brother-in-law) at their home in Bismarck, ND
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Evelyn's new mother-in-law suite
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Cole testing out her bed
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Her new bath
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And closet
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And sitting room
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The Docktor family (Cole, Jon, Kathie, and Kate)
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Evelyn, Kate, Cole, Jon and Kathy
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Barb with Cole, Zona, Jon, Kate and Evelyn
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Jon and the kids
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Las Vegas
Starting in November
my mother Louise needed a blood transfusion every couple of weeks because
her cancer was causing her hemoglobin to get so low - around 7. On
New Years Eve she was taken to the hospital by ambulance because it had
gotten down to 6.2. They gave her four pints of blood and that
helped her for less than two weeks. She had to get a walker, a
wheelchair and a bedside commode.
She loved children
and was anxious to see her newest great-granddaughter Taylor who was born
on December 29. Mom was adamant that we would drive up to see her
in Utah (three hours north) if granddaughter Jessica or son Mike could not bring
Taylor
down. Taylor had had an ear infection and her doctor had forbidden
them from taking her down to Las Vegas because of the change in
elevation. Fortunately, the ear infection cleared up and they were able to
make the trip. Mom was sure thrilled to see Taylor. The next
week-end my daughter Danielle -- who lives near Savannah -- and her two
daughters Kristen and Abigail came to see Mom, as did Jeff's son Zane from Wyoming.
They all realized it would be the last time they would see their
grandmother/great-grandmother, so it was a special visit.
Great-granddaughter
Taylor's Visit
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Louise got to see her 18th great-granddaughter Taylor
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Wes, Jessica, Taylor, Dad and Mom
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Son Jeff, Barb and baby Taylor
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Barb and her mother Louise
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Sister Lori and husband Ray
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Jeff, Zane, Abigail, Danielle, and Kristen
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Dad, Mom, Ray and Lori playing Quiddler
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Sister Kathleen, Dad, and Barb
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Brother Dan and Kathleen
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Side trips with
Danielle, Jeff, Kristen, Zane and Abigail
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We took a 30 minute trip to see snow in the mountains near Las Vegas
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The locals were out in force enjoying the snow
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Abby enjoying her first experience of snow
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Zane - king of the hill
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Kristen ready, set...
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... go
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Even snow on Red Rock
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Son Jeff and daughter Danielle
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Lake Mead (very low water - see marina on far left)
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Barb with granddaughters at Lake Mead
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Hoover Dam - see huge bridge being built in background
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Grandkids enjoying Circus Circus
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Zane
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Abby
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Abby & Zane
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Kristen & Abby
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Kristen and Zane on rollercoaster
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Zane and Abby
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Mom's had eight
increasingly frequent and decreasingly effective transfusions in all,
and by the last on January
16 and it was clear that there would be no more of
them. Mom and the doctors all agreed that it was time to get
Hospice involved and so she signed on. What a fabulous organization/concept Hospice is! I didn't realize that Hospice now is focused
on helping patients in their home to be comfortable and safe while they
are dying. I had thought it was a place where people went.
The nurse assigned to Mom came a couple of times a week or as often as
we needed her. The nurses' aide came by twice a week to
give Mom a bath and attend to any other needs she had. The social
worker ensured that we understood how Hospice worked and that we had
everything we needed. The spiritual advisor spent valuable time
with Mom and then helped us understand that Mom was probably trying to hang on
for us (someone was coming to visit her every couple of days) and that she needed our permission to let go and die. My
sister Kathleen who was with me at the time, Dad and I had a long talk with Mom and gave her that
permission. That evening she had a stroke and was partially
paralyzed on her right side and not able to speak coherently very often. We
had to give in and let Hospice bring her a hospital bed. Mom had
been adamant about dying in her own bed, but it was not possible to take
care of her in it. We were able to put the
hospital bed right next to her bed.
The day we learned of the stroke, my sister Audrey, who is a nurse in
Wichita, KS got off of work at 7:00 am and was in Las Vegas to help by
3:00 pm. Then brother Dan and his wife Candy flew in.
Then sisters Mary and Lorelle. Then brothers George and Mike.
Then sister Suzanne and nephew Tony arrived. Also, our mother's sister Luella arrived with her daughter
Caroline and her husband John to visit. Then our father's sister Evelyn came.
Then brother Tim and nephew Preston arrived. And finally brother
Hugh flew in. All of Mom's children were there and we rallied around
her to make her last days as pleasant as
possible. Her mind was still sharp and she recognized us but we
had difficulty understanding her. We would all gather
around her bed and play her favorite card game: Quiddler.
Mary played Mom's hand for her and would ask Mom for advice. We
even had a birthday party around her bed for my brother Dan on January
29. Mom
was in no pain and her mind was still sharp, but her body was getting weak.
She eventually stopped eating and then stopped drinking. She
passed away peacefully the morning of February 7th.
She was ready.
Chuck flew up from Grenada and the rest of the family amassed again for
the funeral. Mom was cremated and we had a lovely memorial service
for her followed by a social gathering/celebration of her life.
I put together a slideshow of her life that we played at the reception.
Many aunts, uncles and cousins came from North Dakota, Minnesota,
California and Arizona for the funeral. It was really nice to see
them since it had been over 20 years since I had seen many of them.
After the funeral and reception the immediate family went back to the house to divide
up the jewelry Mom had amassed over her life. It was pretty
unbelievable. I had no idea she was such a jewelry hound. It
was fun to divide it all up and Mom would have enjoyed the experience.
We all took pieces to pass on to those grandchildren and
great-grandchildren who were not able to attend the funeral. The
day after the funeral Chuck flew up to North Dakota to see his mother
Evelyn, sister Zona and her family for a couple of days, while I stayed
with my father to help him get his affairs in order.
We left Dad in good hands with my sister Lorelle on Valentines Day,
February 14th, and had a non-eventful flight back to Grenada. It
was lovely to be back home on the boat and together again, but I
wouldn't have traded spending the last six weeks with my parents for
anything.
Saying Good-bye
Las Vegas, NV and Bismarck, ND: January 1-February 14, 2010
